Most founders swear they’re doing validation right. They ask questions, they get feedback, and they walk away with smiles and encouragement.

But encouragement doesn’t equal truth. And truth is what makes or breaks a startup.

Here’s the uncomfortable part. Most validation isn’t validation at all. It's a theater. And founders pay the price for mistaking applause for evidence.

Compliment Trap

The most common mistake is confusing polite excitement with real demand.

It happens like this. A founder pitches their idea and asks, “Would you use an app that does this?” The person nods, smiles, maybe even says, “That sounds cool.”

What the founder hears is confirmation. What they actually got was courtesy. There’s a difference between someone thinking your idea is neat and someone admitting they’ve got a painful problem keeping them up at night.

A $100K Lesson in Validation Theater

Take the example of a team of engineers who built an AI-powered project management tool for small marketing agencies. Their validation calls were really just demos in disguise. They showcased predictive scheduling and sleek dashboards.

Agencies responded with admiration. “That’s impressive.” “The design is beautiful.” Every comment felt like a green light.

But none of it was about a real problem. If they had bothered to ask, “What’s the hardest part of your workflow?” they would have heard something else entirely. The real frustration wasn’t scheduling. It was chasing client feedback buried in endless spreadsheets and messy email threads.

They validated their technology. They failed to validate a need. And like many before them, they joined the 42% of startups that fail simply because there was no real market need.

Real Validation Means Behavior, Not Opinions

The problem with most founder interviews is they focus on hypotheticals. “Would you use this?” “What do you think about this idea?” These questions invite politeness, not truth.

The only way around it is to dig into past behavior. Instead of asking what they would do, ask them to tell you what they did last time they faced the problem.

Questions That Reveal Truth

• “Walk me through the last time you had to complete this task.”
  
  
• “What steps did you take?”
  
  
• “Where did things get frustrating?”
  
  

This forces the customer to become the main character in their own story. And stories reveal evidence. Workarounds. Hours lost. Emotional words like “nightmare” or “exhausting.” That’s the trail of a real, hair-on-fire problem.

Playing Detective with Jobs-to-be-Done

One way to systematize this is through the Jobs-to-be-Done framework. It doesn’t start with the solution. It starts with the timeline of customer decisions.

Ask:

• “What was the hardest part about doing this task?”
  
  
• “Tell me about the last time you faced it.”
  
  

Notice how both questions push toward specifics. The answers reveal frequency, context, and the actual pain behind the problem. If a pain shows up often enough, customers will eventually look for something better. That’s the opening for a business.

How Confirmation Bias Tricks Founders

Even when founders know this, they still fall into a bigger trap: confirmation bias.

They pitch their idea to friends and family, who nod and cheer them on. But those aren’t customers. They’re supporters. Their validation means nothing in the market.

Even with strangers, the same problem shows up. Founders latch onto anything that supports their idea while conveniently ignoring the signals that contradict it.

A Simple Fix

• Write down predictions before interviews
  
  
• Compare what you expected to what people actually said
  
  
• Spot the gaps between belief and evidence
  
  

That small exercise forces objectivity and keeps you honest.

A Two-Week Validation Blueprint

Validation doesn’t have to drag out for months. A focused two-week sprint can surface the truth quickly.

Week 1: Discover the Problem

• Define your hypothesis clearly
  
  
• Run customer interviews that only focus on behavior and past actions
  
  
• Collect stories that reveal actual struggles
  

Week 2: Test Demand

• Build a landing page to test interest
  
  
• Use “smoke tests” to measure sign-ups or early willingness to pay
  
  
• Watch what people do, not what they say
  

This blend of interviews and small experiments forces reality to show up. You’re no longer relying on compliments. You’re observing behavior and measuring action.

Shifting the Mindset

The right mindset isn’t “How do I prove I’m right?” It’s “What could prove me wrong?”

That shift changes the way you listen. Instead of clinging to validation theater, you start hunting for evidence of pain. Evidence that people already wrestle with messy processes, clunky workarounds, or daily frustrations.

When you stop asking people what they want and start uncovering what they struggle with, opportunities appear.

From Theater to Truth

Real validation isn’t glamorous. It’s not about polished demos or applause-worthy feedback. It’s about listening to stories of pain and frustration and looking for the breadcrumbs that signal a genuine need.

Founders who skip this step build something impressive but irrelevant. Founders who embrace it build something necessary.

Your customers won’t tell you what to create. But they’ll always show you what they’re struggling with. That’s the difference between theater and truth. And that difference decides whether your startup survives or becomes just another cautionary tale.

‍